chris and i are bak together i cant be bothered updating it all again so go to my other journal and look if ya want an update! lol.... www.greatestjournal.com/users/xneecheex
so... chris and i have broken up... thank god it had nothing to do with EMMA! Just a series of unfortunate events... but we are goin to stay friends... and i hope we stik to it... im hoping that after all this is over maybe we will get bak together...we might just need a break... i hope... but im not pushing... ill wait for him... It was sorta a mutual break up but it wasnt...i didnt wana break up with him... but i basically said he had to make a decision or i would make the decision for him... and here we are... at least it was a reasonably positive break up... we chatted today... talked about everything... i keep just thinking that its just for now... like i know we will get bak together.. then i have little realisations that we might not... and break down... and to make my weekend even more fantastic... emma pulled her fukin dog act... then msgs me and says...
"I really want to fix everything, When your ready to talk to me."
Thanx emz thats really nice of you for giving me that oppertunity... you are such a great friend... i should be lucky to have you! GET FUKED!
well im guna go and cry...
Yesterday i found out who my real friends are... or more particularly the ones who are not...
Hanging out with this person last night and talking to her about my troubles with chris made me think that i was lucky to have a friend like her and i was glad we were becoming better friends... then she msgs chris confessing her love for him.... some friend... SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE EMMA!
DONT COME NEAR ME AGAIN!
Small, simple, safe price.
Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets.
This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals.
And I am not afraid to die.
I'm not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight.
I want the pain of payment.
What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts.
Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks.
Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid.
To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts.
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter.
I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart.
Love is not like anything.
Especially a fucking knife.
Why can't he just leave me alone...
oh how i have been neglectful! im sorry! poor journal!!! I havnt updated for ages....
Had skool spec on the weekend... it was mad fun its on 12th December on ABC so everyone has to watch it! u might spot me! lol...
Anyways... it was really funny... rach and me got balloons and were hitting people in the face with them on the way out from finale! fuk it was hilarious!
We would start talking to guys and then half way through the conversation go "Wana fuck?" but mumble it so they oculdnt understand.. then they would go "What???" and we would be all like "nuthin dont worry bout it!" fuk it was funny... a couple of guys heard us though and said yes! and we were like um... no... lol
In the finale on the last night of spec rach and i went in a tunnel at the front...
we were supposed to be in the tunnel up the back so when we run out on stage we are up the back too... so for the last show we were thinking fuk this lets just go in a different tunnel and go up the front...
Our friend courtney (boy) is in the Company so he is up the front... we went in his tunnel... but the problem was we were the only ones there with our costumes on... not exacly inconspicuous! it was pretty funny.. and the dance director would walk past and courtney and this other guy brendan would hide us and shit.
The other dilema we came across was that they go out for the first bit and before we didnt in our other tunnel... But it wasnt hard or anything we just had to stand there and clap but it was funny as. Brendan was singing Will To Climb over his shoulder at me... i was trying not to crack up laughing! lol
Then wen the music came on we got to dance right near the front with all the reall good company dancers! it was soo much fun!
After we had to sprint back around to our spot so our teacher didnt see us! lol she would never have let us do it... so we just ran! lol
It was soo much fun!
Courntey Look awesome! He has become such a good dancer! i wana get sum pics of us and post em!... Hes doing so well! cant wait to watch it on telly.
Theres also a documentary of the making of school spectacular on the 8th i think... courtney will be on the that coz he is in the company so its all their rehersals and stuff.... cant wait to see it!
Anyways it was mad fun... even though our teacher Ms Hamilton who took us was a mole!
I have the formal on friday so im guna go to paddy's markets on Thursday to get Sum jewellery and shoes for it! Ill get pics and post them too...
Wen i get around to it! lol
Getting my hair dyed black with red streaks on Wednesday too...
Rach and me were trying on These full on 80's wigs at the markets! lol... ach bought a wig but it was mad and suited her!!!
anways im getting kicked off the computer... so...